Actually I can. These past few months have been an absolute blur. Husband and I welcomed our very first baby, a girl (!), back in December and I swear I blinked and I was here- 5 months later.
A friend once told me "the days are long, but the years are short" and if these last few months are any indiction of how fast it actually can go, i may wake up tomorrow and have a kid ready to graduate high school.
I recently (read:today) felt like I had my shit together enough to jot down some thoughts and musings about my new life. I have to act in the moment. If I don't do it the minute it pops into my head, it doesn't get done. That's just life. That's just how it is. And I'm ok with that.
When my writing dropped off, I was nearing my third trimester of pregnancy and getting ready to do that whole 'nesting' thing. I stopped teaching my yoga classes about a month before I was due because my body was starting to slow down, the holidays were fast approaching and I was about to have my parents set up shop in my house for a few weeks to help with the new little addition. Turns out, she wasn't in a rush. I was 8 days late. I felt my very first contraction on a Sunday at midnight and she didn't make her appearance until Tuesday at 8pm.
Once baby girl showed up, I had to fight hard to keep up! My days and nights were a blur of feedings and diaper changes. I was thrust into a new role where my boss was an 8 pound tyrant that yelled and screamed at me every time I didn't move fast enough or get her what she wanted as soon as she wanted it. I would be lying if I didn't say there were times when I didn't know who cried more... her or me... but we made it through. We both had to figure out how to maneuver in this new world that we created... where she was my baby and I was her mama. And I think we both acclimated quite well.
So here we are... baby girl will be 5 months old in one week. I've experienced emotions that have ranged from sheer terror, to unbelievable desperation, to overwhelming frustration to mind-blowing love in these past few months. This baby has mirrored my insecurities and shown me my strengths. And one thing I have definitely become aware of is that even though I'm an integral part of this two-some, I am ready to take back little pieces of me one day at a time.
One day last week I unrolled my yoga mat and actually spent 20 minutes practicing something that loosely resembled yoga. I've strapped the babe to my chest and committed to mile long walks. I've sat outside and read books (well, started and stopped the same chapter numerous times) during nap times. Most importantly, I've opened up my laptop and started writing.
As I fumble my way along this new path, I want to write about it. I want to have it to look back on and laugh at. I want this adventure to be documented. Because one day, that little baby will be out on her own. One day I won't need to fit in writing during naps and I'll have hours of time to practice yoga and my walks won't have her company. And I'll want to remember all of it. Every last detail.
Because, yes, the days are long... but the years will most definitely be short.
One day last week I unrolled my yoga mat and actually spent 20 minutes practicing something that loosely resembled yoga. I've strapped the babe to my chest and committed to mile long walks. I've sat outside and read books (well, started and stopped the same chapter numerous times) during nap times. Most importantly, I've opened up my laptop and started writing.
As I fumble my way along this new path, I want to write about it. I want to have it to look back on and laugh at. I want this adventure to be documented. Because one day, that little baby will be out on her own. One day I won't need to fit in writing during naps and I'll have hours of time to practice yoga and my walks won't have her company. And I'll want to remember all of it. Every last detail.
Because, yes, the days are long... but the years will most definitely be short.
