Namast'ay In Bed

Scenes of a monday night:

Re-runs of Friends streaming on Netflix.

Half eaten bag of Cheetos on my nightstand. 

Favorite pajamas on. 

Dog curled up by my feet.

And me… lounging front and center in my bed.  

Current mood:

Head spinning. 

Reason:

Pregnancy. 

Ok, so I’m not exactly in full-tilt stress mode.  I’ve actually wrapped my head around the fact that I am, indeed, expecting my own little bouncing bundle of joy in the next few months.  What is throwing me for a loop is the fact that I kind of have no idea what I’m doing.  

I don’t know how to change a diaper.  I don’t get the whole swaddling thing.  When I was little, I ditched my dolls when something better came along.  I never really embraced the whole ‘mommy’ thing.  

As I got older, I hit all of the traditional milestones in a timely fashion.  Graduate college.  Land a fancy job.  Move into an apartment.  Marry my boyfriend of 6 years.  Travel.  But baby?  Not so much.  

I enjoyed our lifestyle very much.  My husband and I adopted a few animals along the way and they were about all the responsibility I was comfortable with.  We got a lot of questions.  

“So, when are you two going to have some kids?”

“Have you thought about adding a two-legged one to your family?”

“All of your friends are having kids, when are you guys thinking of doing it?”

“Are you getting any urges?” (said to me while holding a family member’s baby)

I got a lot of pressure from people, but I was quick to shake it off.  Throughout my 20s I held fast to not wanting kids.  And before you begin to wonder, my husband felt that way too.  I like kids, I just never considered them a part of my future. 

Fast forward: I’m in my early 30s.  My husband’s biological clock started ticking.  I put it off for 3 years.  And now I’m in bed.  Pregnant.  

I really took my time and thought long and hard.  I asked friends hundreds of questions.  I mulled it over in my head for hours a day.  I wondered if my lacking skills and knowledge would be a problem.  When I finally said I was ready to try, it only took a couple short (very short!) months until I saw that little pink plus sign.  Ready or not, here comes baby. 

So one of the reasons I decided to start this blog is to chronicle my adventures of complete confusion along this extremely unknown path.  

One day, I’ll look back and laugh.  Or use as blackmail against my future teenager.  Who knows?  Perhaps blogging about baby will one day replace the whole ‘naked baby in a bathtub’ pictures parents are quick to whip out and show their child’s prom date.